Every person who had a relationship once must experience the concept of cheating or be cheated. It is natural in relationships. But as long as you make cheating an option for any sort of problem or situation you would eventually lose your relationship and your favorite person too. Although you’d have all the possible reasons for considering cheating like; the same activities for months, getting bored of talking to the same person, no longer able to find your partner attractive or interesting at the first glance, and many others. But the saying still goes the same, cheating can’t be an option at all. If you both truly love each other then you guys will always sort out everything.
Apart from all of these, there is one single and the most common reason for cheating which is known as ‘tempting for someone’. You know, that feeling when you see someone, someone more interesting, someone who just spends the time with you as you want. Someone who understands you when your mood swings. That is the only moment when your mind gets diverted because you are having a kind of new and more comfortable time after so long. we need to understand that we are humans, we can get bored of having the same time for too long, we always crave for new experiences, new things. But the saying still goes the same, cheating would not be right for any of you at all. I know it’s hard to stay the same and loyal but trust me, it is the only way and probably the most effective way to keep your relationship strong forever.
As I said, we are humans, so we make mistakes (sin is exceptional) it’s common. Now, suppose you had cheated or you have been cheating lately on your partner and you just got caught up. What will you do? How will you deal with the situation? So, let me tell you what you should do at that moment.
- Never lie! Tell your partner as the same way as things were
The first thing you got to keep in your mind is ‘never lie to your partner’. No matter what the situation is, but never lie. Because it can break your relationship to the core and most probably you won’t be able to rebuild it again as it was before. It will just become that useless glass which once broken and loses all its beauty, remains with some scars, and never going to be the same as the beginning.
Similarly, when your partner discovers your affair or you get caught up in something, just sit with him/her and talk about everything that has happened. Try to keep it simple, honest, natural, and calm. However, it will not that easy as it seems. Because the moment when you get caught up your pre-planned structure just ruins. Your partner will ask you more and more questions which you can’t and not want to answer due to the thought of not letting them hurt. But they do want the answer to all. Because they have already prepared a page of relateable questions in their mind with the answers too. And they just want to hear the same answers as mentioned on their page. As long as you keep on their desired answers it goes normal, but you drop the bomb when you tell them the proper scenario that has actually happened. As we all know, truths are always bitter (better than a lie though).
So, in order to keep your relationship as same as before, you need to tell your partner each and everything in a dignified manner. Also, you have to answer all the ‘why & what’ questions. I mean, just make yourself ready for different punch lines. But always remember, never lie. Keep in mind that, a single lie can lead you to make an ocean of lie. And you would eventually be drowned in that ocean.
- Consider yourself at the place of your partner
As I mentioned before that there are several reasons for cheating in a relationship. But in most cases, it is happened due to some lack of interest, happiness, enjoyment, and others. So, when you get caught up you have to tell your partner everything in detail as well as you need to answer the main reason for doing. Let’s make it simple, you have to answer the major “why” question; Why did you do that? Now, you have to tell the truth if you are looking forward to keeping that relationship and not wants to be broken up. But do not get offended by the reaction of your partner. Because it is you who did the wrong thing anyway. so you need to think that if you were at his/her place how would you think. Your partner will have all the right to overreact to your answer but you have to stay calm and show him/her some love at that moment because you do love him/her, you just went astray from the tracks.
Now, you tell them the actual reason for cheating. It could be anything; stress, attraction, family problems, loving someone else, etc. But you know what? It will work better than anything. When you tell the truth, your partner will find out that what you guys have been missing lately. Then you both will start a debate on that answer (not a good one lol) but afterward, you both will come to the right conclusion to make things right and understandable.
- Try to build your partner’s trust again
When you get caught up you will try to find all the possible ways to sort the things out and somehow you would get successful. But there would be still some pieces which can’t be fixed in the first place. These pieces are undoubtedly related to your ‘partner’s trust’ which you just destroyed. However, relationships are nothing without trust. So, you have to start building that trust again.
Even though this would be the most difficult task for you but you have to accept it if you want to be with your favorite person for the rest of your life. With that said, you need to go over and beyond to make things right. You need to become transparent as much as you can. Not only just resetting the ‘normal couple things or behavior’ but also, you have to prove to your partner that you have nothing left to hide. In other words, you just have to open up your entire life to them. For instance, if you are going on a business trip and you know it sounds so natural but it might ring some suspicious bells in your partner’s head if you do not let him/her know that why, when & with whom you are going on that trip. and this time do not lie at any cost, because you have already broken that trust once there won’t be a second chance. So, try to tell the truth at all.
Moreover, you have to let your partner enter your personal space. Do not overreact if they want to check your emails, messages, or any other thing. Sounds unfair. Isn’t it? But do not forget that you have already removed the word ‘fair’ from your relationship when they had a blind trust in you and you have misused it and cheated on them. Because again, whatever the problem is, cheating is absolutely unfair at all.
- Be ready to face his/her close circle
Have you told your partner that you have been in an affair lately? Well, you know what, you just have told 3 to 4 other people as well. No matter how hard you try to keep the things between you and your partner but eventually, it will reach the other people of your partner’s circle. It usually happens if your partner is a woman because we all know, women can’t keep secrets. They always want to share their life stories and situations with friends, parents & others. Even though it’s a good thing but telling others about your partner’s affair will something sounding unpleasant.
Coming back to reality. Now let me tell you what would happen if your partner will share with their circle about your cute and little affair. You will be called a ‘cheater or a liar’. And you know when it will become worse? When her parents will get to know about it. Then how you are going to look into her father’s eyes while asking him to let his daughter marry you?
Even though your partner somehow able to build up trust in you but their friends won’t do that. They will always feel suspicious of you and keep an eye on you for good. As the saying goes; once a cheater, always a cheater.
- You will have to give up your current affair
Now, this is a kind of controversial topic. Remember when I said that you usually start an affair if you fall in love with someone else? So, there are basically two different things…
- When you truly love someone, you can’t fall in love with someone else until unless you lose the presence of the first person forever. However, some pieces will always remain somewhere in your heart.
- Apart from this, if you are falling in love with another person so that means you haven’t completely fallen in love with the first person because if you do, you won’t be let yourself falling for someone else.
Suppose, you were in love with someone and you and your partner haven’t kept things work the right way due to some usual circumstances. Meanwhile, you found another person with whom you are feeling comfortable, who understands you the way you want, and anyhow better than your first love. So what will you do? Will you leave your present partner and choose another as a partner? Or will you stay the same and try to make things right with him/her?
The fact is, both of these conclusions would be right in some aspects. Because it is your life and you are the only responsible person for all the decisions. Either the positive or the negative. However, you have started an affair while being in a relationship, just sit alone and see how do you feel? Is it feel right or wrong to you? If it feels right, that means you didn’t love the first person it could’ve been an attraction or something you should stay with the second one. And if it feels wrong, then congratulations you still love that first person. It is just that, you were comparing problems with the person, and they should be separated. In that regard, go ahead and make things right by telling him/her about your mistake and so-called affair. I hope you know already how to deal with it!
- Won! But at what cost?
Last but not least and most importantly, just forget everything and talk about yourself. Let say if you get succeeded in having an affair while being in a relationship and you managed everything so well that the chances of getting caught are very low. So, in your point of view is it fine anyway? Don’t you think cheating the person who truly loves you is not a mistake but a sin? Exactly. When you don’t get caught up and continuously enjoy doing the wrong things you will eventually get these types of thoughts in your mind, and they can lead you to a state of overthinking, stress, depression, anxiety, and many more. and then you have to live with this guilt until you tell your partner about it. So yes you have won, but at what cost?